Personal Journey

 My story

field contemplative photoMy parents were married when my mom was 17 and my dad was 21 because I was about to come into this world.  As a child, I could only see one thing about their relationship – they hated each other.  Fighting and intense anger between them were regular routines in my home.  I lived in a lot of fear as the two people that were supposed to keep me safe and secure forged a battleground in our home.

As a child, I got in a lot of trouble for swearing and being mean to my friends.  I did not know and was never taught how to be a nice and kind friend.  In 6th grade I was not chosen to be a safety patrol, because even though I was a top student, I did not have the social skills the teachers knew I needed to be successful in taking care of other kids.  I had not learned many self-love or self confidence skills in my family.  As a child this made me feel sad inside.

Deep down I was a beautiful child, I just had very limited access to that beautiful child with the upbringing I had.  I remember one day in junior high, when I was really sad about my friend situation, I went to my grandfather’s grave and asked him to help me be a better friend.  Things at school went better after that, however I still struggled with friendships.   I must add that some of my close friends in high school were very important to me and I will always be grateful to them.

All I could do was look forward to college.  Some of my friends were going close to home, but not me.  I wanted to get away from everything so I went to college 5 hours away, hoping to create the close relationships with friends.  So having limited social skills and conflict resolution skills, what do you think I created with my two college roommates?   I had no idea how to handle conflict.  I did not have healthy conflict resolution skills.   However, I truly had two amazing roommates (thanks Karen and Tracy) but I could not fit into any groups.   Groups of friends scared me, more than one friend was too much for me. I did not have the skills to handle the dynamics of multiple people.   And at that point yet, I still had no idea why.  Thus I made myself wrong for many years.

Then I started to date.  I am very grateful for the amazing men that I have had the opportunity to partner with in my life.  They have taught me so much.  One was an early first relationship and he loved me so unconditionally.  He loved me better than I could love me.  His unconditional love showed me my beauty.  I will be eternally grateful to that amazing man.  I was too afraid to love at that point and we broke up.  I could not accept his unconditional love.  It really scared me.  I have since learned, we can only love others to the extent we love ourselves.

The other wonderful man was my fiancé.  He was kind to me but not as emotionally available as I needed, I have since learned I chose that.  That made him very safe.  However, once that relationship ended, I took time to really reflect.  At the age of 29,  I realized two things:

  1. I was the common denominator in my failed relationships
  2. I did not love me enough, it was not him, it was me.

My quest began….

Thus 12 years ago at the age of 29 my quest for self-love began.  I had no great role models or teachers in my life, but I began to realize that self-love and responsibility were the keys to my happiness.  I was 100% clear.  I was introduced to Quan Yin at this point and as I read this book on Quan Yin I knew deep inside that I was to learn and teach about self-love.  It was one of the reasons I came to this beautiful earth.  I also could no longer blame my parents, in fact I needed to forgive them.  I was now 100% responsible and had created every single thing in my life.  They had done their best.

I began to travel solo to foreign lands, usually third world countries, where I was taught a lot about self-love and happiness by the people that did not have a lot of physical things but were happy inside.   This was one of the greatest gifts I have given myself.  I volunteered at orphanages around the world.   In the beauty of these children, I saw my beauty.  The love we exchanged allowed me to feel that deep love unconditionally.  I worked with countless healers from all walks of life, and with each one of them, I understood deeper what it meant to love me.  I trained as a kundalini yoga teacher and spent three weeks in an ashram which gave me deeper access to my love inside of me.   I traveled with a dear friend and yoga teacher to India.  This journey, in this amazing land, deepened my connection to myself.  I attended countless seminars by individuals who knew that self-love was the key to an amazing life of freedom and love.  I read numerous books.  I am in deep gratitude to all of these amazing people that reached out and touched my life.

I will be eternally grateful.  It truly has been my greatest gift to see that I am the crux of all of my happiness.  This is a very powerful place to live from.

It is now 12 years later of learning, loving and growing.  I wrote and published my book on being a healthy parent after divorce.  I produced my abundance and love CDs.  I have written my self-love book (to be published in the next year).  I am a very successful life and leadership coach (within organizations).  I have worked with 1000s of adults and children to partner with them to live into their amazing beauty, power and love.

I continue to learn, grow and love me more.  I have learned a lot and at the foundation, loving you is the most important gift you can give yourself and anyone in your life, including partners and children.

I am not here to tell you that this was always an easy journey.  I can tell you that it has gotten easier as I have learned the skills of loving myself deeper.  I can tell you it is a journey you will never regret. You are worth it.  I am here now to stand with you and partner with you.  I know I am here to ensure that you live the most love-filled life possible.  You DESERVE that.  In fact, you deserve the WORLD.

It can be yours “with a  WHOLE LOT OF LOVE for yourself”.

As I wrote my parenting and divorce book, produced my love and abundance CDs and developed my programs over the last ten years, I did it for me and for all of you whom I would impact with this message of love to the world.  That is what all my work truly is:  A message of love.  I truly love you and all that you are, no matter where you are.  I am sending you love.

I hope you will consider inlovewithme coaching, reading my book on how to be the best parent after divorce or during conflict, or listening to my meditations.  If you choose to do any of these things, I can guarantee you will move your life forward in some crucial way.  The testimonials are already beginning to pour in.  I am grateful for this journey that has allowed me to bring into form so many things that can assist you in your journey.


Shannon Rios

Contact Shannon here.


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