It was devastating to me over the years to watch myself play out my parents’ old patterns of hurt and anger. I will never forget how, on one awful night following a failed marriage engagement, I literally fell to my knees…and in that moment, came to some big conclusions.
First, the prince was never going to save me, I had to save myself.
Second, I had put a lot of blame on my fiancé for “not loving me.” What became clear was I did not love myself.
Through research, discussions, and a lot of soul-searching, I eventually came to realize self-love was indeed the missing link to healthy relationships. Once I realized this, I knew from that point on I had to be fully responsible for my life and everything I created. I could no longer blame anyone else. I had to become healthy and strong on my own, so I could create lasting and loving relationships.
Could I really cultivate within myself this thing called self-love? Yes, but because I had limited role models growing up, it would take much work and many years of struggle and pain.
So, what have I learned that self-love is? It is a journey of falling in love with yourself and becoming happy with you, a journey where you do not seek to find happiness through others, but learn to access happiness from deep inside of yourself. It is a voyage of love, fortitude, and magic, but it can also be filled with anger, sadness, and pain. The road can be winding and long, and even scary, but the trip is worth every second because you deserve the happiness that falling in love with yourself brings.